What to do with 1800 christmas lights?

November 27th, 2009

Well, it looks like my ability to find deals and my desire for frivolously spending money on crap i don’t need has gotten the best of me yet again.

The other day I stumbled upon a deal for a case of Christmas lights.  I am now the proud owner of 6 boxes(1 case) of 300 light strings of energy leeching seasonal bliss.  But for $6 shipped how could I (or anyone) say no?

I thought it would be cool to decorate the pine tree in my front yard.  Anyone have a skyjack?  So, any ideas as to what I should do with these?

1800 Christmas Lights

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Fishing tip of the week.

June 29th, 2009

This weekend an old man shared a little fishing tip with me about how to catch bass

Try throwing something that looks like a minnow or a worm

Thank you old man.  Without being blessed by your profound observations, I’d probably still be tying sticks and rocks to the end of my line.

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A fight for the ages…

January 6th, 2009

A fight for the ages…. (per the title)

Gladiator Ready….

Gladiator Ready……

FIGHT!!!

And a winner emerges

(Apparently I posted this as a ‘page’ instead of a post. I fail at the internet)

Your Hometown

March 21st, 2008

At what point in your life do people stop asking you what your hometown is, or where you’re from?  Just today someone asked me and I said Waterloo. That’s where I live. Thats where I have mortgage payments for my house, but apparently that’s not quite what they meant.  Sometimes people will ask me (generally around the holiday times) “Oh are you going home?”  And I say, No, my home is 5 miles away, I’m driving to my parents house that’s 180+ miles away.   How long do I have to live somewhere before I can call this my hometown, or even just my home?  Is there a magic age that once you’re so old you can officially call the place you reside in your hometown?  If you were to ask your parents, aunts, uncles, friends what their hometown is what would they say?

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Don’t die before Valentines day

February 14th, 2008

Yes that’s right, if you’re planning your death, or know you’ll be kicking the big one soon, I suggest waiting a good three to four days after Valentines day. No, not so you can spend your last days with your special loved ones, but to save them from the true heartache of having to cough up bookoo bucks for sympathy flowers.
Any day of the week (not in the month of feburary) your standard dozen roses in a non-extravagent vase will run you anywhere from 15-20 dollars. As we all know, once that most dreaded of “holidays” (and i use the word lightly) rolls around you can expect to shell out 60 bucks minimum for these most beautiful and short lived tokens of affection. So, after thinking this over for a while I wondered if one could cheat the system and possibly play on the sympathy of the florists. Would they give me a discount if they thought that said flowers were to mourn the loss of a loved one, and not because I have a wife at home that expects to be showered with gifts on this day. (no, there is no wife at home)

Personally I have no intentions buying flowers for anyone, but if I was I’d give it a shot.

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Todays required reading – The life and crimes of the music biz

January 22nd, 2008

Well class, todays assignment it to read about the music industry. If you thought you hated the RIAA, wait until you read the first hand experiences of Simon Napier-Bell and the many years he spent working the music labels themselves.

The Life and Crimes of the Music Biz

Gizmodo has some serious balls

January 10th, 2008

Check it out

YouTube Preview Image

Did they take it a bit far? Sure, but I admit I laughed

And yes I realize i posted 2 videos in a row.

Lonnie REALLY wants to give you massage

January 4th, 2008

Now, I’m no stranger to the internets, and the vast amount of nut jobs, porn, stupid videos of kittens in tissue boxes, or people blowing shit up, but while crawling through Craigslist’s for sale section like I normally do, I bumped into an ad in the barter section that I found slightly disturbing. and yet moderately funny. (end run on sentence)

Did you know that Lonnie wants to give you a massage, and all he asks for return is that he gets to stay in your house overnight? Maybe it’s just me, but the idea of getting a massage from a stranger and then having that person spend the night in your house just doesn’t sit right with me, I dunno call me old fashioned. Then again, Lonnie posting his self portrait to the bottom of his ad didn’t aid him in convincing me that everything would somehow be alright.

Well after an uneasy shudder, and a brief chuckle at the glorious mullet that graces the head of my fair Lonnie, I decided to venture to his website to see what he was all about. Fortunately for me Lonnie provides a frequently asked questions section. Because, after viewing his interesting ad on craigslist and seeing his picture perfect hair I certainly had my fair share of questions… I didn’t want to post the entire FAQ section but here are just a few highlights.
Do you offer one hour massages? No, I don’t time my massage. It’s always at least 90 minutes. (huh? hows that work?)
Will you be naked during the massage? No. It doesn’t help me give a better massage and it distracts you. (first off who asks that question, second what the hell ?!?! )

If you want to check out Lonnie for yourself head over to his site. (Kudos on the heavanly background selection as well, very professional. The question is, did he steal it from Anglefire, Tripod, or Geocities)
Oh, and if you’re not into massages but you’re still looking for good deals on craigslist. I highly suggest you go snatch this item up before it’s too late
01010201020301030120071204ec6b8beb5119d41ae2002c1e.jpg (and I may just end every post from now on with a picture of Lonnie)

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Your Loved One lives In Your Heart

December 11th, 2007

Many tender memories soften your grief,
May fond recollection bring you relief,
And may you find comfort and peace in the thought
Of the joy that knowing your loved one brought…
For time and space can never divide
Or keep your loved one from your side
When memory paints in colors true
The happy hours that belonged to you.
~ Helen Steiner Rice

Goodbye Grandma

Google, what is it you’re looking for?

November 28th, 2007

After looking over my logs it appears that a large number of people visit my site through google images for different pictures that I have posted from time to time.  Thats all fine and dandy, but what I want to know is, what are people searching for that they’re stumbling upon some of these.  For example, about a month ago one of my top images that google kept providing to people was the picture from the not-so-famous “Ten Dollar Turd” post.  Another popular image as of late has been one of me wading through the water in my boxers after fetching my boat one summer morning.  And one of the other more recently popular images is of one of the other vehicles that was in the car accident with me last year.
So what is it that people are searching for when they end up running into these images?  My logs only point that the referral was from google images, and no search term is provided.  However when I receive referrals from yahoo, google, or other search engines it will generally strip the keywords that were searched for and present them to me.  And if it doesn’t I can usually find it encoded in the URL somewhere.  Google images does no such things.  I’m not trying to drive more pointless traffic to my blog, I’m just kind of curious as to what keywords one would have to provide in order to come up with a picture of a ten dollar bill embedded into a dog turd…

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